Hallo everykoomer! You’re listening to Radio Mojave. I’m the Host, Kumo Kuddelmuddel and you’re my captive radio haunts! This Broadcasting Station has been my residence for as long as I can remember! Please, make yourself at home, you’ll be here forever.

I’m a Spider Cryptid and the host of the Thing in the basement. Radio Mojave broadcasts out of this mansion…it’s been here for like—ever! The manse draws radio haunts here like moths to a flame, and then traps you for eternity. But it’s okay! You’re my koomer now and I’ll keep you safe!

Thank you for visiting us all the way out here in the Mojave, and remember, you’re here forever.